Windup Gone Wrong

Posted on November 5th, 2008 in eDrinker by Oliver.Cross

I thought I was winding some guy from work and I found out I got a letter wrong in their MSN details. Anyway I ended up winding someone a random guy, but it looked like they he had something to hide.

The real stupid thing is when I was checking my friends Face Book details thinking I was being smart, poor guy.

[16:41] brett: hello
[16:49] Oz: Hi
[16:50] brett: how do you know me?
[16:51] Oz: College
[16:51] Oz: few years back
[16:51] brett: where are you?
[16:52] Oz: At home
[16:52] brett: but where is your home?
[16:52] Oz: Phone one sec
[16:52] brett: ok
[16:57] Oz: Sorry back
[16:57] Oz: London why
[16:58] brett: I think you got the wrong person, I never been in college in England
[16:58] Oz: Paul Brett
[16:58] Oz: 37 years old
[16:58] brett: I used to live in LA, CA, but not in UK
[16:59] Oz: think we had a birthday party round May
[16:59] Oz: can’t remember the exact date
[16:59] brett: where this party?
[16:59] Oz: It was at Johns house
[16:59] brett: Where, London?
[17:00] Oz: Listen I’ve only contacted you now because
[17:00] Oz: the police have been asking questions again
[17:00] Oz: They haven’t forgot
[17:00] *** “brett” signed off at Wed Nov 05 17:00:35 2008. 

Game Over

Posted on October 30th, 2008 in Emails by Oliver.Cross

I’m going to start forwarding them from now on.

Game Over

—–Original Message—–
From: Oliver Jon Cross [mailto:oliver.cross@gmail.com]
Sent: 30 October 2008 17:49
To: David xxxxxx
Cc: Oliver.XXXX@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Re:

Sounds like a deal. From this day forth I shall forward all emails to Mr Coss, but you better keep your word.

Oliver

On 30/10/2008, David De VXXXX <XXXXXXX@XXX.XXX> wrote:
>
> Oliver, I’ll see what I can arrange with HER upstairs! Promise!
>
> David
> ——– Original-Nachricht ——–
> > Datum: Thu, 30 Oct 2008 15:10:24 +0100
> > Von: “Oliver Jon Cross” <oliver.cross@gmail.com>
> > An: “David De VXXXX” <XXXXXXX@XXX.XXX>
> > Betreff: Re: Re:
>
> > Hi David,
> >
> > I’ll tell you what; I’ll stop emailing people back and forward the
> > emails on to Oliver.Coss@gmail.com. If you throw me a few blessings
> > and guarantee me a spot in heaven.
> >
> > Thanks,
> >
> > Oliver
> >
> > On 30/10/2008, David De VXXX <XXXXXXX@XXX.XXX> wrote:
> > > Hi, the problem is that we have a priest here who is Oliver COSS
> > > and people like myself mix up the e-mail. Sorry!!! He is thinking about
> > changing his e-address if that is any consolation.
> > >
> > > Regards,
> > >
> > > David de VXXXX

> > > ——– Original-Nachricht ——–
> > > > Datum: Thu, 30 Oct 2008 14:21:33 +0100
> > > > Von: “Oliver Jon Cross” <oliver.cross@gmail.com>
> > > > An: “David De VXXX” <XXXXXXX@XXX.XXX>
> > > > Betreff: Re:
> > >
> > > > Hi,
> > > >
> > > > No problem David, just tell your people to stop emailing me. I’m
> > > > getting on average 4 a month.
> > > >
> > > > Thanks,
> > > >
> > > > Oliver Cross

They Still Keep Sending

Posted on October 30th, 2008 in Emails by Oliver.Cross

—–Original Message—–
From: Oliver Jon Cross [mailto:oliver.cross@gmail.com]
Sent: 30 October 2008 12:33
To: David De VXXXX
Cc: david@XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.org.uk; irispXXXXX@XXXX.co.uk; cowanjoXXX@yahoo.com; JohnXXXXXXj@XXX.com; gjeXXXX@gXXXXXX.kXXXX.co.uk; gwn@XXXXXXXXXXX-solXXXXXXX.co.uk
Subject: Re: TAIZE PRAYER

Hello,

I think it’s about time I was straight with you all. I’ve been going to these events for a good ten years now and I got to say I’m disappointed. Why am I disappointed? I’ll tell you, some little bugger in this group keeps taking a shit in the confession booths and who has to clean it up. Guess who, me!

Oliver

P.S I need help to pay the money back to the donations box that I spent on smack and hoes last Friday night.

On 25/10/2008, David De Verny <XXXXXXXXX@XXX.net> wrote:
> Dear Colleagues, the University Chaplaincy has been approached about hosting the ecumenical TAIZE PRAYER evenings on every first Tuesday in the month. We are very happy to invite you all very warmly to these evenings.
> The next one will be TUESDAY NOVEMBER 4th at 7.30. The International Chapel is located in the basement of Middleton Hall, just off Cottingham Road.
> Would you kindly inform the leaders of your parish Taize group of this arrangement. Thank you.
> Yours sincerely
> in Christ,
> David de VXXX (Chaplain)

Got a Live One - Parish Email Pt 2

Posted on October 29th, 2008 in Emails by Oliver.Cross

Got a reply

—–Original Message—–
Subject: Re: parish e-mail

Hi David,

I’ve been shooting coke all morning. That reminds me, remember last year when we travelled to Rome and I dared you a monkey to take a dump in the pope’s mitre. They were the days.

Oliver

P.S. This religious stuff is right laugh isn’t it, I wonder how long we can take it for. I mean we’ve had a good run, a few thousand years or so.

On 29/10/2008, David De VXXXX <XXXXXXX@XXX.XXX> wrote:
>
> what have you been on? I want some!
>
> David

Parish Email

Posted on October 29th, 2008 in Emails by Oliver.Cross

They just keep coming:

Dear David,

As a brother thou not need require any physical aid to recite the great book:

Genesis 25:30 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)
He said to Jacob, “Let me eat some of that red stuff, because I’m exhausted.”

Darth Vader: Death Star Conference Room ( Star Wars 1977)
“I find your lack of faith disturbing”

Also I can’t meet up for a drink this week as I have a squash match on Wednesday with Al Sharpton.

Regards,

Oliver

On 25/10/2008, David De VXXXX <XXXXXXXX@XXX.XXX> wrote:

> Dear Oliver, I don’t have the new dio handbook… in the old one there is no e-mail for Paul or your parish! Does he have one?

> Thank you for your help.

> Best wishes and kind regards, David

> PS. Why don’t you give me a ring (XXXXX-XXXXXX) and pop in for a coffee/tea???

Living Stones Curates Retreat

Posted on September 26th, 2008 in Emails by Oliver.Cross

Hello,

I know I said I wasn’t going to be posting anymore, just couldn’t help post my latest email from the Church.

“Hello Sue,

Thank you for the update and I was delighted to hear I would be working with Anne and Cathie however I’m afraid I have conflicting Bukkake conference up in Exeter. I know its last minute but I’ve been looking forward to this for some months now.

Stay in contact and let’s catch up soon, wish me luck.

Oliver

On 25/09/2008, XXXXXs22 <sue@huXXXX.XXXX.XXX.XXXX> wrote:
>
> Dear Oliver,
> Thank you for agreeing to be part of the team and assisting in the
> production of 09 ‘ Living Stones’
> The other team members are; Anne Dawson, and Cathie Lawrie.
> Sorry the gender balance is a bit lop-sided but I’m sure you will cope.
> The theme is, Prayer Centred Ministry, venue, most likely Sneaton
> Castle, retreat leader has yet to be confirmed.
> Will keep you informed re; meetings and arrangements.
> Blessings,
> Sue XXXXXX”

For Sale

Posted on September 11th, 2008 in eDrinker by Oliver.Cross

Hi,

I’ve not had the time to work the site for a while and to be honest I can’t see updating any time soon. I’ve put the domain up for sale so I can work on my personal blog which will soon be ready under oliver.me.

Sorry to all those that followed so I’ve included a list of sites that I still enjoy:

www.Break.com

www.Jokaroo.com

www.Pandachute.com

www.StupidVideos.com

Oz

Thought You and Mary Ann Would Enjoy This Article

Posted on August 1st, 2008 in Emails by Oliver.Cross

Someone got the wrong email again. You can see her family name is Cross and someone in her family is called Oliver but she got the domain wrong. 

The link was:

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/college/football/2008-08-01-georgia-poll-cover_N.htm?loc=interstitialskip&POE=click-refer

——————————————————————————–

From: Oliver Jon Cross [mailto:oliver.cross@gmail.com]
Sent: 01 August 2008 16:40
To: XXXcross@XXX.rr.com
Subject: Re: Richt, Georgia ready to face expectations of being top dog - USATODAY.com

Hi Mum,

Thanks for the great article. I’m afraid I have some bad news, early last week Marry Ann was told shes got genital herpes and shes to embarrassed to make it for Sunday lunch.

Anyway I’ll call you when I can.

Love,

Oliver

On 01/08/2008, XXXcross@XXX.rr.com <XXXross@XXX.rr.com> wrote:

* Please note, the sender’s email address has not been verified.

Thought you and Mary Ann would enjoy this article!

Mom

Biker Outruns The Police

Posted on July 16th, 2008 in Videos by Oliver.Cross

Who thinks they can outrun the police, well this guy does.

Cat Just Chillaxing

Posted on July 16th, 2008 in Videos by Oliver.Cross

Those that don’t believe in reincarnation has to see the way this cat spends its time.

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